Ok, so here goes nothing on giving this Herbalife thing a try. Let me explain…no, there is too much…let me sum up.
- I finished my degree in North Carolina, worked in professional summer stock in Virginia and Indiana, spent a year in Orlando, FL as a stage management apprentice at Orlando Shakespeare Theater, floated around like a gypsy for a couple of months, and then got the chance of a lifetime to finally move to NYC and I have been here a little over a month now!
- I am now living in Astoria, Queens with my dog, a whole new group of friends, a job as an administrator in a hospital that I love, and Assistant Directing a show at night while trying to figure out just how big of a role theatre is going to play in my life and how to balance it with everything else going on.
- I have gained weight…a pretty good chunk of weight. I don’t feel wonderful (although I don’t feel awful either) but all the walking and squeezing through turnstiles and onto small subway and bus and theatre seats has really hit home how much weight I have gained and I don’t like the way it makes my life that much more difficult.
- I am CRAZY busy! Like, leave the house at 8am return at 7pm, leave again at 7:30pm and return finally at 2am. I have spent SO MUCH FREAKING MONEY on takeout it makes me shed a little tear at all the lost savings and travel opportunities I have pumped into Seamless in the last month and a half (For those who don’t live in NYC, Seamless is this AMAZING website that you can save your address and credit card info and order from dozens of restaurants in your area with a click of a mouse, including Sushi, Thai, Italian, Indian, Rotisserie Chicken, and Cold Stone Creamery…yeah, I didn't need to know that one). I can literally count on one hand the number of meals I have cooked in my kitchen since I moved and it isn't good for my sensitive stomach or tender pocketbook.
- My kitchen is miniature…as in, studio apartment style miniature with not even enough counter space for a drying rack for the dishes - You do them, you dry them, the end! It also has a smaller sized oven and fridge, and very limited cabinet space so my standard tricks of mass bulk buying and cooking are NOT going to work here.
So with all of these crazy factors in play and a friend who has been talking about Herbalife on Facebook nonstop I decided what the hell…give it a try. Everyone talks about how expensive it is, but honestly with the amount of money I have been spending on eating out, replacing one or two meals a day with this stuff will probably up my fruit/veggie intake and reduce the amount of money per meal I am spending – both of which are excellent things! And anything I can prep quickly and fit into my on the go schedule (that doesn't involve tipping the delivery guy) is a plus for me right now.
So I received my package last night and ended up starting it right away, thanks to having to be back out the door in 20 minutes and having no actual food in the house. I didn't really want to have to get delivery at the theatre, so I grabbed whatever I could in the house and blended it up with the Formula 1 Chocolate Meal Powder and ended up with a yogurt, egg, baby spinach and cinnamon shake. Conclusion? Rather tasty! And surprisingly satisfying…I was at the theatre until 1am and although I brought a snack in case I needed it, I didn't get hungry until I got home at which point I had an apple, cheese stick, and 1 beer while doing post-audition emails and paperwork. Considering that replaced what otherwise would probably have been Chinese food I would say that is a successful meal swap!
Also, because I got home so late last night, I knew I was going to be WIPED OUT this morning (which was true…I must be psychic) so I pre-prepped my shake in my to go cup by putting in a carton of yogurt, a spoon of Greek peach jam, an egg, a big handful of spinach, 2 scoops of Vanilla Formula 1 powder, and a good sprinkle of cinnamon and sticking it in the fridge overnight. So this morning all I had to do was add water and give it 30 seconds worth of spinning with the best stick blender EVER (it’s teal…it works
So basically here is my approach to this whole thing –
- I love myself and I am happy with myself at any size – it has taken a long time to get here, but I am focused on living my life NOW and not waiting for some magical number on a scale or on a clothing tag to give me permission to travel, eat, love, be happy, etc. This program for me is a combination of wanting to get physically more comfortable while interacting with my environment, saving some money and saving some time in my busy schedule.
- I refuse to suffer or exist in a constant state of deprivation and martyrdom. If I am hungry I will put food in my face! If I choose not to do 2 shakes/1 meal one day then I damn well won’t! I am wanting to make sure I am paying attention to my body cues, so I am not going to just down a shake in addition to a meal (hello pointless waste of money!), but if I am hungry and it is still 2 hours to lunch I will make myself that oatmeal, or eat a handful of nuts, or a piece of fruit. I will drink my alcohol of choice in moderation (which for me is usually 1-3 craft beers or glasses of wine in a week unless I go out and then that shrinks to “in a night” :-P) and when it is time for my real food meal I am going to eat what I want and not make it all crazy steamed, sauce-on-the-side, no carb, Paleo, weighed portion diet food. I know how to eat healthy, I make general good choices, and I will continue to do so without making that the focus of my life to the detriment of all other intelligent thought in my brain. I live in NYC, one of the greatest food city in the world, and I am a consummate foodie and cook. Food brings me great joy, both the preparation and appreciation of it. I am not giving that up on the hopes that I might shrink my physical being a bit faster – at what cost to my emotional well being?
- I will focus on how my body feels through this whole process, and make sure to nurture it in the best ways possible. Eating what I need, but not overdoing it. Paying attention to my stomach and digestive health, bumping up my fruits and veggies, walking to and from the train more than I catch the bus, trying (trying oh so hard!) to get enough sleep, etc. Making sure I am physically and emotionally being taken care of, and then also helping to disentangle those feelings of nurturing from being tied to food so that I can appreciate it without letting it ruin me.
That’s about it! I honestly didn't even weight myself at the beginning of this because I don’t have a scale and don’t want one. I know what I weighed this summer, and I expect (based on how my clothes fit) that I am slightly less than that now but I don’t have an exact number and it just doesn't matter all that much. I want to see my clothes get looser and my breathing get less labored, I want to not have to turn sideways to sqeeeeeeeeze through a turnstile at the subway, I want to sit in a theatre seat and not be squished to the point of pain, I want to not choke on my own chest when I lean forward to tie my shoes, I want to be comfortable enough to enjoy fully the life that I am going to continue to live happily regardless! I also am going to do my damndest to keep this blog on the experience, and anything else that comes to mind,